A Long Distance Valentines Day*


Being long distance at uni is classically a no go, everyone tells you that the first thing you need to do come A Level results day is let down your boyfriend gently and tell him that the distance is too much, and you don’t think it’s going to work out.

This is perpetuated everywhere you go, with people consistently telling you to ditch your other half in favour of uni ‘fun’.

And I sort of get it, it does sound mega scary, you can’t see your bae every day anymore, and you’re out partying every night of the week, or spending all day asleep, so when can you be bothered to have a facetime catch up?

[us on Valentines Day 2015]

At the end of the day, being in a relationship is work, if you don’t put in the effort to keep contact, you’re gonna drift apart.

I try and speak to my boyfriend on the phone, or facetime, every single day, for about 30 minutes a night. This is good, we get to catch up on our days and have a nice lil chat.

As for seeing him, I try to visit (or he visits me) every other week, but sometimes 3 weeks might pass without seeing each other. I think in the past we might have done 4 or almost 5 when we were really struggling to find the time. 

Obviously, you want to see your other half on Valentines Day, but for so many people it ends up being via facetime rather than face to face. We've been together for 6 years, and I'm not sure if we've actually made it on the actual day every single time. 

This year, National Express got in contact and told me they wanted to help long distance couples see each other over the holiday.

I do usually get the train, which can be a real annoyance sometimes; on my last trip to see him, I ended up crammed in a vestibule with about 20 other people, all packed in like sardines since I'd failed to get a seat booked.

My journey with National Express was much less stressful than my usual train journey. You're guaranteed a seat so there's no chance you'll end up a sardine, or have to elbow your way through the carriage. Your luggage all goes underneath the coach, so there's none of the usual luggage-rack overflow (seriously why is there only ever room for about 4 cases?). My journey was 2 and a half hours, but it went so quick. One of my favourite parts about getting the coach was that you actually get to SEE the country a bit. When my boyfriend picked me up I wouldn't stop going on about all the towns I'd passed through (yes, I'm a bit cringe like that). This was my first coach journey but it definitely won't be my last.

I was actually shocked when I figured out that this was our 7th Valentines Day together, honestly I still sometimes think we've only been together about two years. So we celebrated as any couple would, by making enchiladas and watching Netflix together on the sofa.

[he's so bad at taking photos, i asked him to look happy]

We used to be WAY more extravagant, like last year when had a weekend in Manchester, but this year with him paying a mortgage and me saving for a car, Netflix is about as romantic as we get.

But you know what? It's just as good. When you're in an LDR, you come to realise that it's not about what you do, it's just about getting to see each other. 

How did you spend your Valentines day? 

** This post was sponsored by National Express **

Confidence: The Key to Life

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If I've learned one thing so far in 2019, it’s that confidence is the key to life.

I've always put myself down. I've always ended every sentence I say with 'I think' or 'I don't know', or something like that, the linguist in me would say that I always try to 'soften' the blow of my words, because I'm afraid of being assertive.

And it's true, I am afraid of being assertive. My body cringes up when I have to write an email to someone and my heart races a million miles an hour if my phone rings – extra points if it’s a number I don’t recognise.

But, I've been working on it. I lost a lot of confidence at the start of 2018, which is something I talked about a bit in my look back on 2018 post. I became physically ill, which came hand in hand with my anxiety becoming crazily hard to deal with. This was a major kick in the face after the amazing 2017 I’d had.

My confidence really shot up again towards the end of the year, I restarted my blog in September, not knowing that it would really go anywhere, but I've already gained so much. And I'm not talking money, although I have finally started making some money from my blog (which is CRAZY to me). Just being invited to blogger events, and meeting so many lovely blogger friends, has done me a whole world of good. Just last weekend, I attended an event that the beautiful Shannon Alexandra had set up for us, with Tamper Coffee and the Cupcake Kitchen in Sheffield. I learned a lot that day, and one of the main things I learned was that I need to have more confidence in myself and stop underselling myself.

One of the things that I've struggled with the most since restarting my blog is the niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that tell me that everyone I know in real life thinks I'm a fake, that all of my posts are being screenshotted by girls I knew at school who pick on my every word and laugh at my pictures. And you know what, it might be happening. My anxious brain for sure tells me that. But whether it is or not, why would it matter to me what people who don't like me think? 

I think this is one of the hardest parts about growing up. I need to get out of that secondary school mind-set where everyone is talking about each other behind their backs, because it just does not matter anymore. I have got to remember that I am an independent person now who doesn’t rely on the thoughts of other people to build myself up.

I’m really interested in what other bloggers might think of this. Do you worry about what people you used to know think? It seems to silly but yet it’s so difficult to me.